pappabearbooks Chapter 69. The price of giving up
Chapter 69. The price of giving up
Chapter 69. The price of giving up
Surprisingly, there was no sense of curfew in Violette. But that doesnt mean there is a lot of freedom, but rather a more severe reality.
It is not the father or Violette herself who determines Violettes curfew, but Marijune or her step-mother. If either of them cares about Violette, then Violette has exceeded her curfew, and if they dont care, they will not be interested in her going home in the morning.
No, they could be offended by her late appearance, but none of them have any feelings of concern for Violettes safety. But Violette isnt concerned about their feelings for her. The heart that used to feel hurt has already withered away.
She no longer has any emotion or energy to spare, and even if she were to vent her frustration, she would just let it slide. She has gotten used to it, or maybe she has given up? She doesnt know if its just her feelings of giving up,, but either way those frustrating and depressing feeling is not healthy, and she is happy that she could have a healthy life in this lifetime that she never thought could have in the first place.
I was nervous, but I think I did the best I could!
I see. It must have been a tough first test for you.
So today, too, Violette becomes a machine. She is like an inorganic object that just moves her hands and mouth.
Whether or not her sense of taste works depends on the day, like an eating game that even Violette herself doesnt know. Sometimes it tastes good, but when she tries to be mindless, she cant help but perceive food as nothing more than a mass of nutrients, an object to fill her stomach.
She feels sorry for the food that the chef made for her. It tastes so good when she eats it in her room, but she didnt realize how much the taste of the food depends on the place and the people in the same space.
But the fact that she can swallow it without feeling the discomfort of wanting to spit it out suggests that they made it with that much consideration for Violette. Neither the texture nor the slurpiness of the food makes her feel the discomfort of being tasteless.
At the same time, Violette feels a weight in the pit of her stomach grow heavier just thinking about what would happen after the test results came back.The results of the test are posted in the hallway, just in case students cant see them properly. However, since the grades and tiers are different, she doesnt know the ranking of Marijune and her classmates. But if it is the same as last time, then it is possible Marijune will be reigning first place.
Even when she didnt cooperate in Marijunes study, she(Marijune) was able to get the top position without any difficulty. This time, when the difficulty level was even lower, it wouldnt be too much of a hassle for her(Marijune) to get the first place.
(I am in fourth place?)
Come to think of it, last time, she never once asked Yulan about his test results She couldnt afford to. Marijune had shattered all kinds of pride she had, and her father scorned and scolded her without any reason. Denial of her existence is a given, and he tells her to work hard even though he has a habit of not recognizing her efforts. The contradictions were so severe that she didnt understand what he meant, but she guess it was a reasonable logic for her father. How could she endure such unreasonableness for a year? She wonders if the result of a years worth of resentment was a huge eruption that ended her up in prison in her previous life.
Perhaps it was because her mental exhaustion was too much that she had no time or space to care about Yulan. In fact, she thinks she was the one who made him worry a lot. It was he who had been worried about her back then.
Violette gave up everything, but if she could afford to think about Yulan as a result, then that was enough of a return for her.
(Oh, I should thank you both)
Thanks to Claudia and Mirania, Violette was able to achieve more than she was capable of. She is willing to thank Yulan again for asking them to help her, but she must further add her thanks to the two of them for taking care of her and Marijune.
Violette doesnt have any intention to take her sisters place, but she honestly doesnt think that Marijune can repay her properly . Its not she is saying that she(Marijune) doesnt have manners, but her(Marijune) values are still more like those of a commoner. She is sure that she(Marijune) intends to improve, but she cant afford to fail in the hands of a prince.
And if she(Marijune) did something wrong, it would be Violette who would be scolded.
Not from Claudia and the others, but from that blind father of hers. Her father, who wants nothing but love for Marijune, might even put the blame for her ignorance on Violette.
(Lets ask Marin to prepare something for them as thanks.)
Since their tastes are unclear, she would like to give them something as acceptable as possible. Sweets would be the most standard, then she can ask the head chef. Claudia and the others liked the tea leaves that she recommended and praised so highly, so she will have to ask him about other necessary ingredients as well.
But first, she would have to endure her fathers irrational remarks.
Violette stopped thinking about it, realizing that the fact that she no longer felt disgusted or angry about it was not because of her growth but degeneration.
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