Disciplining Emperor Gaozu of Han

Chapter 37 Zhou Bo and Lu Wan

"What? What? Ying'er did it?" Liu Bang's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, his face full of disbelief.

After all that, it turned out that the flood had washed away the Dragon King Temple, and the family members didn't recognize each other, causing a huge misunderstanding.

"Ying'er, it's one thing for you to be naughty, but it's wrong for you to hit your uncle." Liu Bang said coldly.

"I don't know him, how would I know it was him?" Liu Ying argued.

"You don't recognize me..." Liu Bang couldn't finish his question.

Four years ago, when they left Pei County, Liu Ying was too young to remember anything, so of course he didn't know Fan Kuai.

"Then why did you hit him?" Liu Bang asked, stunned.

"He took advantage of me the moment we met. How could I not be angry?" Liu Ying said, sounding somewhat unsure of herself.

Fan Kuai claimed that he was taking advantage of Liu Ying, but by sheer coincidence, Liu Ying was his elder, which made perfect sense.

"He calls himself 'Sir'?" Liu Bang's face was full of strangeness, his eyes darting around.

With a forceful pull, he flipped Fan Kuai over, making him lie face down on the ground. He lifted the hem of his robe, straddled Fan Kuai's back, grabbed Fan Kuai's messy hair with his left hand, and slapped the large bump on the back of Fan Kuai's head with his right hand.

Fan Kuai let out a muffled roar that sounded inhuman as he woke up in pain. He turned his head hard, wanting to see who was bullying him.

Liu Bang grabbed his hair forcefully, and Fan Kuai couldn't turn his head. He could only stare wide-eyed, his eyes filled with rage.

Liu Bang reached out with his right hand and ripped the rag out of Fan Kuai's mouth.

"I'll beat you to death!" Fan Kuai roared like thunder, turning his head violently.

Liu Bang released his left hand, and Fan Kuai successfully turned his head, his eyes blazing with fury, wishing he could skewer Liu Bang to death. He asked in astonishment and disbelief, "Brother-in-law Zhong? Is it really you?"

"If it wasn't me, who else could it be?" Liu Bang slapped the big green bag again.

Fan Kuai screamed in pain, tears streaming down his face.

Liu Bang untied the ropes binding Fan Kuai. Once free, Fan Kuai jumped to his feet, his knees buckled, and he knelt before Liu Bang, clutching his thighs with both hands. Tears streamed down his face as he wept bitterly, "Brother-in-law, I thought I'd never see you again! Waaah! That Xiang Yu is so wicked, he chased me like a dog!"

"Who says otherwise?" Liu Bang said with a sigh, embracing Fan Kuai's head and comforting him, "Alright, alright, it's all over now."

"Mmm-hmm-hmm." Fan Kuai wiped away his tears with his tattered sleeve, his eyes flashing with a fierce light, and complained to Liu Bang, "Brother-in-law Zhong, where did this wild child come from? How dare he hit me! You must stand up for me!"

Huff! Huff!

A chorus of pig squeals erupted, and Xin and Gu laughed like pigs.

"Who are you calling a wild child?" Liu Bang protested, slapping Fan Kuai on the back of the head and shouting angrily.

"Brother-in-law Zhong, what business is it of yours if I call myself a wild child?" Fan Kuai looked completely bewildered.

"Ying'er, come here and greet your uncle." Liu Bang beckoned to Liu Ying.

"He's not here." Liu Ying wanted to find someone to hide from, but unfortunately, Tian and his men surrounded her, and there was no one to hide from.

"It's him!" Fan Kuai stared at Liu Ying, his eyes glued to her small body.

"Take a closer look, who is he?" Liu Bang said, head held high and chest puffed out.

"Ye... Liu... Ying?" Fan Kuai felt that Liu Ying looked familiar, and the more he looked, the more familiar she seemed. Finally, her face matched the baby's face in his memory, and he was filled with disbelief: "Was it Ying'er who hit me?"

"Indeed!" Liu Bang looked up at the sky and laughed heartily, "Fan Kuai, how did it feel to get a beating from Ying'er?"

"So all that beating I took was for nothing?" Fan Kuai was utterly speechless.

"Otherwise what?" Liu Bang said smugly, mocking Fan Kuai: "You're supposed to be one of my fiercest generals, yet you got beaten up by a mere child! It's hilarious! It's laughable!"

Liu Bang laughed so hard he almost fell over, clutching his stomach and crying out in pain.

Fan Kuai rushed towards Liu Ying, who let out a heart-wrenching scream: "Help me..."

Everyone stared wide-eyed, arms crossed, eager to see what would happen.

Fan Kuai rushed to Liu Ying, stretched out his large, fan-like hand, grabbed Liu Ying's neck, and lifted him up like a chick.

Liu Ying felt as if she were floating on clouds, being lifted into the air, unable to move. Her scalp tingled, and she forced a big smile, calling out sweetly, "Uncle-in-law."

"Good Ying'er! You actually managed to hit your uncle, not bad! Not bad!" Fan Kuai was not angry at all. Instead, he put Liu Ying on his shoulder and was very happy.

"Uh..." A strange sound rang out.

To the surprise of the onlookers, everyone felt that the script was not right.

"Uh..." Liu Ying felt like she had picked up the wrong script.

After giving Fan Kuai a good beating, shouldn't Fan Kuai also give himself a good beating?

"Uncle!" Liu Le called out sweetly, as if she were a little angel.

"Le...er?" Fan Kuai's eyes widened in surprise and delight: "It really is Le'er."

She reached out, picked up Liu Le, placed him on her shoulder, and asked with a smile, "Have you missed your uncle?"

"I miss my uncle so much." Liu Le hugged Fan Kuai's neck.

"What do you miss most about your aunt?" Fan Kuai asked again.

"My aunt's husband stewed dog meat." Liu Le was a good boy, and answered honestly, his lips glistening.

"Okay, your uncle will stew dog meat for you," Fan Kuai said happily.

~~~~~~

Inside Liu Bang's royal tent.

Fan Kuai had already cleaned his wounds, applied medicine, and changed into clean clothes. He was now stewing dog meat. The aroma was irresistible, making everyone's mouths water. Liu Le couldn't help but swallow.

Liu Ying knelt to one side, sniffing the air, and muttered to himself, "Dog meat smells this good?"

Dog meat, after being boiled three times in a hot pot, is so delicious that even immortals would lose their footing. It was a rare delicacy, and Liu Ying had eaten it before it was banned. However, he never found it to be so fragrant.

Is it because of Fan Kuai's stew?

After treating his wounds, Fan Kuai ate a hearty meal, rested briefly, and regained some strength, he went to fulfill his promise and catch a dog. He made a living slaughtering dogs, so catching them was second nature to him. In no time, he caught a plump, strong wild dog, bled it, and skinned it with practiced ease, almost like an art form.

Liu Ying watched in awe, truly a king among dog butchers.

At that time, technology was underdeveloped, agriculture was limited, and grain production was low. Therefore, only wealthy families could afford to raise livestock for meat. Ordinary people did not have this privilege.

However, humans are naturally carnivorous, and their need for meat is no less than their need for women, so they set their sights on dogs. Catching a dog is practically free; it can be sold for a good price, thus giving rise to a special profession: dog butchering.

Because they make a living by slaughtering dogs, their profession is considered lowly and they are derogatoryly referred to as "dog slaughterers."

Among the butchers, two were the most famous: Gao Jianli and Fan Kuai.

Gao Jianli, because he was a close friend of Jing Ke, was ultimately executed by Qin Shi Huang.

Fan Kuai became a famous general in the founding of the Han Dynasty. It can be said that he achieved the highest level among the lower-ranking generals, reaching the level of a king.

Once the dog meat stew was ready, Lü Ze and Xiahou Ying arrived and ate the dog meat together.

Stewing dog meat is truly an art, and Fan Kuai's stewed dog meat is just different. It melts in your mouth, makes your mouth water, and is tender and delicious. Liu Le and Liu Ying swung their chopsticks like whirlwinds.

No wonder Liu Le was so eager to eat dog meat when they met; he really has good taste.

"Ying'er, do you think his stewed dog meat is delicious? Mine is even better." Liu Bang said smugly as he ate dog meat and drank fine wine.

"Is your stew as good as your aunt's husband's?" Liu Ying mocked.

"Delicious, very delicious." Liu Le praised as he ate, "My father's stewed dog meat is just as delicious as my aunt's."

Liu Bang was called the "dog meat emperor" for no reason.

His hometown, Pei County, is historically famous for its dog meat production due to his influence.

It's just that it was banned after the pandemic, and eating dog meat is prohibited, so it's probably going to become a thing of the past.

Liu Bang and Fan Kuai, one who liked to eat dog meat and the other who made a living by slaughtering dogs, together formed a "dog-killing duo".

~~~~~~

Lu Wan, her face ashen, leaned against a tree the size of a bowl, weak and listless, her eyes vacant: "Zhou Bo, I'm done for, I'm going to die. Play me a tune."

Zhou Bo responded, took out the panpipes he carried with him, and began to play. The music was mournful and plaintive, so poignant that it brought tears to one's eyes.

"Zhou Bo, I asked you to play a tune, why did you play a funeral dirge? Are you cursing me to die?" Lu Wan said angrily.

"All I know are funeral songs," Zhou Bo said, looking aggrieved.